Mating Rituals of the 21st Century Homosapien

For centuries, animals have adopted mating rituals to ensure that the species survives, and little baby whatevers populate across the land. Male peacocks have a vibrant plume of feathers to wow the female of the species (who I have heard in some species is more deadly than the male) and some spiders eat their partners after mating, because they are hungry (I don't think this is actually the reason, but I am not at liberty to give you facts, as I don't know them).

So anyway, through the centuries, human mating rituals have moved from the male clubbing the female over the head and dragging her back to the cave, to chastity belts and no sex before marriage, asking for her 'hand' and courting, to now.

I think its a sliding scale, and today I found myself at the bottom of it.


There were two incidents, one on the way to work, and one on the way home. On my walk to the tube station, a man walked past me. He sucked his teeth (eew) make some puckery noise and said "hi babygirl, you want?" apparently I "eeeew"-ed so loudly that the man walking behind me laughed. Then on the way home another guy walked up to me, pointed at him then pointed at me, and when I carried on walking looked disappointed.

What is wrong with people? It reminded me of the days when boys in the town i used to live in would do loops round the one way system in what could only have been their mother's car, playing their music really loudly and hollering at girls. It always used to make my mind boggle. What did they think they would achieve from this? Did they expect the girl that the had yelled at to be waiting on their next lap, overcome with emotion at such a display? I think not.

I'm not sure how we got to the stage of bum pinching and teeth sucking, but bum pinchers should take heed of this, commit your bum pinchery in Singapore and you risk being flayed. Which, in my opinion, should be a worldwide thing.

Whats the silliest chat up line you have ever heard?


Posted on March 28, 2012 and filed under Uncategorized.